This article on The Motley Fool (at fool.com, which I think is unintentionally apt) is a dumpster fire of Apple Watch analysis.

So, yes. The Apple Watch is a failure. Many of the uses Apple demoed two and a half years ago are bad and unsurprisingly never took off.

At the same time, it's hard to argue that a product some 25 million people bought and more people are buying every quarter is a disappointment.

Read the whole piece if you want (you'll probably be happier if you don't), but it boils down to this: Apple pitched the Watch in 2014 as a mini-iPhone, they shifted focus after seeing what people used it for, and now more people are buying it than ever before, but it's a failure because the focus of the device changed.

Excuse me while I retrieve my eyes from rolling to the back of my head.

For the record, the Apple Watch business is large enough to be a Fortune 500 company all on its own, Apple nearly doubled their sales of the Apple Watch YoY last quarter, and more people say they are satisfied with their Apple Watch than any other wearable. But yes, the fact that Apple has changed focus and a few bad apps left the platform shows it's a failure.