Holy Apple Rumor Bomb, Batman!

Legendary(?) Apple analyst Ming-Chi Kuo dropped a bomb overnight with some of the juiciest rumors we’ve had in a while. Let’s take a look at each one on the “Birchler Scale of Excitement,” which is the only scale I’m an expert in.


1/10 excites

Holy shit it might actually be happening! Despite what some will tell you1, this product’s troubled history might actually result in something shipping.

In the 18 months since I got a wireless charging iPhone though, I’ve gotten a few very nice wireless chargers that completely satisfy my needs, so I have next to no excitement to give this.

iPod Touch

0/10 excites

This is more of a personal thing, but I can’t think of another product in Apple’s lineup that I care less about than a new iPod Touch. Good for kids and people with specific needs, but this is no mainstream consumer product.

I will say that this is a good product for businesses that want to stick an iOS device in something like a barcode scanner. An iPhone is overkill for that, but an iPod Touch fits this need much better.


8/10 excites

What excites me here is the scope of iPad updates on the horizon. A new screen size (10.2”) for the normal iPad implies a new design, possibly closer to the last 10.5” iPad Pro, or even closer to the new Pro models. A new Mini excites me very little, but I’m happy if Apple feels like there is a market there for a smaller iPad.

And then the fact that we could get new iPad Pro updates within 12 months of the last upgrade is great news for that segment of the iPad lineup as well (better than the 18 months we’ve been used to).

All that said, I just upgraded my iPad and likely won’t be getting any new iPads this year, but a good year for iPads always makes me happy.


5/10 excites

Those looking for a visual refresh are going to be let down, but I’m excited for better Face ID, better batteries, and a new wide angle lens. There’s also a rumor of the iPhone being able to wireless charge other devices, which I have to think will be just AirPods.

Nothing here is crazy, which is why I’m not over the moon for this rumor. Also, I’m ready for phone manufacturers to move beyond glass-backed phones. I know it’s good for wireless charging, but I’m ready for a new “unapologetically plastic” iPhone that I can trust more not to crack or be crazy slippery. Frosted glass might help with the slippyness, at least.

Pro Display

3/10 excites

This sounds very nice, but it’s not something I’ll ever buy myself. My lowly 2012 Mac mini certainly can’t drive it, and my iPad Pro might be able to, but even if iOS 13 allows for more useful desktop interfaces, I don’t see myself shelling out anywhere close to how much this thing is going to cost.

MacBook Pro

7/10 excites

Now I’m not a Mac guy anymore, but I am absolutely excited to see Apple do something to shake up their laptop lineup. They used to have the 17” model that creatives loved, but the market was too small to keep up with.

My wild guess here is that the 16” MacBook Pro will be marketed similarly to the iPhone X: “this product is the future of Macs, and we’re releasing this for early adopters at a wild price point now.”2 I would expect it in a new body, new keyboard, and nearly bezel-less display.

But uh…can we get a 16” iPad Pro while we’re at it?

  1. “Um, Apple never gave us a release date, so it’s not late at all.” No, sorry, if Apple announces an accessory in September 2017 and it ships in 18+ months later, that’s late. 
  2. Apple marketing would have to clean this up a little :) 

Talking Video Games on PAL Keys

I have the supreme privilege of talking to Daryl Baxter about old video games on his never show, PAL Keys, lest week.

Listen here, or just subscribe in Overcast or Apple Podcasts.

We recoded minutes after the Nintendo Direct and talked about the Link’s Awakening remake and the slew of other games announced in that beef Direct. We then jumped into one of my favorite games, Resident Evil 4, my favorite boss in any game ever, and why I love The Twin Snakes.

Going Old School in 2019

So much of what I do online is about following the newest, latest, best stuff that’s out there. What’s the best phone? What are the best new games? What’s next in…everything?

This is just how I am and I generally enjoy being on the cutting edge. It’s fun to have things that the world has never seen before.

But recently I’ve gotten the urge to play some of the older games I remember loving when I was younger. I mostly blame the new podcast, PAL Keys and the ongoing Digital Fountry series, DF Retro for sucking me into this, but Daryl and John are nice guys, and they deserve nothing but appreciation for sending me down this road.

I’ve always been a huge fan of the Legend of Zelda series, with basically every game in the franchise completely blowing me away1. I was introduced to the series with Link’s Awakening on the Game Boy Color, I fell forever in love with Ocarina of Time for the N64, I adored the weirdness in the other N64 title Majora’s Mask, and I most recently felt things no game had made me feel in decades with Breath of the Wild on the Switch.

Imagine a series so amazing that Wind Waker, A Link to the Past, and Twilight Princess are all skipped over when I think of my favorite games in the franchise.

I currently only own a Switch and a Wii2 so my options for playing old Zelda games is pretty limited. To solve this, I picked up a Nintendo 2DS and plan on using this as my Zelda player for the next few months. While the 2DS is running some really old tech these days, it’s still totally capable for these sorts of games and has a massive library of content all of it’s own.

I’m stunned by how cheap this all is too. Here’s the prices for a bunch of games I’ve either gotten or plan on getting in the near future:

That’s quite a backlog, and it’s crazy to me that I can get them all for $84 ($74 if I play them on the Switch’s online service)!

Anyway, this is more a diary entry than a blog post I hope to get major traffic, so thanks for reading this far, and maybe even for being reminded about how great The Legend of Zelda is and picked up one of those classics.

  1. The Wii’s Skyward Sword is really the only exception here. 
  2. The Wii is in a closet somewhere though, so I “possess” one, but I don’t really use it. 

My Review of Resident Evil 2

This is my review of the 2019 remake of Resident Evil 2. Spoiler: I love this game and it’s absolutely going to be in contention for my favorite game at the end of this year.