It’s the new year, and I have been stuck mostly at home, sick as a dog these last few days. It’s a profoundly depressing time to feel bad. This is when I should be seizing the day! I should be out in the world making all the great changes that I want to see in myself for 2015.
But I’m not. I’m sitting at home, feeling like crap.
Unfortunately, my sickness is mostly in my head and throat, so I can’t even do my creative work online while I’m stuck at home. I haven’t been able to write much because simply thinking hard enough to write gives me a literal headache. And I can’t get a jump start on next week’s Birch Bark episode because I don’t have a voice.
So since I can’t go out, I can’t go to work, and I can’t be creative, what am I doing? I’ve been on Twitter quite a bit, I’ve caught up on all of my RSS feeds, I finally watched Guardians of the Galaxy, and I’ve been playing a lot of games. All of this is usually things that I consider treats. I like getting home from a long day’s work and reading the latest news in Reeder. I cherish every moment that I get to devote to a video game, as those hours have become fewer and farther between as I get older. At this point, I have zero motivation to kick on the PS4 again and play some more Grand Theft Auto 5. I just can’t do it. I feel the same about Twitter and RSS; I’ve sucked all the fun out of them and am left thinking, “now what?”.
My headache has diminished, so that’s why I’m sitting in front of my keyboard, able to write this (hopefully coherent) post.
I really should be happy that consuming nothing but entertainment for almost 2 full days has left me wanting more. God, what would I do if this was my life all the time? I shudder to think of it. I am happy that I need to do something “productive” or “creative” to feel good; even when I don’t feel good.
Fingers crossed, but I think I’m going to feel much better tomorrow and be able to actually act on some of the things I want to do this year. I’ve had a delayed start, but I’m ready to get moving.