Johnathan Mann made this really nice video where he discussed viewing himself as a feminist all the while being a terrible feminist at home.
I liked the video but saw that there were a lot more “thumbs down” votes on this video than Mann normally gets. How could this thoughtful, positive video be so divisive, I asked myself. So I ventured down to the comments…I should have known this is always a mistake.
While some comments were negative for expected reasons (“feminism sucks”, “don’t be a pussy”, “GamerGate!!” etc.), the majority of negative comments were hung up on one point in the video where he asked his wife if he could go to a movie, she says yes, and then later gets mad at him for it. Dozens of comments say that he’s completely off the hook and she’s being emotional. She shouldn’t have said “yes” in the first place if she didn’t want him to go.
I have to imagine that comments like this come from young people who have a particularly small view of the world. They have a tiny view of what it is to be human and don’t understand that you may agree to something without actually wanting to. Or maybe you’ll agree to something in the moment and then realize that this is a piece of a larger problem and get frustrated.
That happens to everyone, and we do it for many reasons. We do it to be nice or because we’re afraid to say no. Marriage is a complicated relationship and the belittlement of that relationship in these comments are depressing. These are either young people who don’t know how a relationship works, or they’re not quite banner examples of husbands.